being triggered is an interesting concept. I have been aware of this happening in my life over the years and I have to say there wasnt mush consistany with each unfoldings, at least not that I am aware of, but lol isnt that the foundation of being triggered... unawareness?
On the onslaught of some, there was paralyzing fear
Other times, violent internal retching
The odd occasion my mouth would explode with @%&@^$%... you know what I mean.
There was a few times I thought my whole body, from my head to my toes was that bomb with the fuse burning to its soon conclusion.
Most all of these usually gave way to my head eventually working it out, calming conclusions reached, logical counsel recieved, healing bringing the ability to move onward. Or that is what Ive told myself anyway! hahaha
Today was a trigger that I have wrestled with a few times (ok, probably many) that I find very hard to bring to a healthy conclusion. When your mother once again tells you how screwed up and sick you are. And lets you know that she is not the only one that knows this to be true. And she regrets being around such a selfish and horrible person.
And then that old familiar feeling rises up. Those whispers from ghosts of the past become louder and you start to think of all the broken relationships in your life and start to believe that the burden is to big to carry for the very few that are still in your life.
And it would be in everyones best interest if you just got in your car and drove away untill you are on the other side of the world.
The problem is, I become exhausted trying to dig my way out of the deep dark pit I find myself in which makes the thought of driving to the other side of the world impossible.
